I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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