and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
