woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
