a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
i think i just lost a toe
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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