Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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