I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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