I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
