He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
