dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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