Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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