I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize