Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
fuck your aforementioned shoe
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The air was thick with penises
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
