so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
