no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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