nutella sex= disaster
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
