She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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