I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
