dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
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your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
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When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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