Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
