So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize
