No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
