nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just made out with a guy for $7.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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