There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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