How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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