i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Floor bacon is actually really good
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
