hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize