Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
