My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
