She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
