i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I wish there were birth control emojis
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
