If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
