Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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