Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I can't turn off my feet"
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
