trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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