Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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