Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
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