I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
