I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Randomize
