Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i jhust puked up my retainher.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
