Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
