yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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