and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
