well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize