Say something about gay babies.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
