I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
