Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
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NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
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He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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