God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
kristin has been a bad kristin
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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