He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
