he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
