nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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