And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
