Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
