I should be sponsored by Trojan
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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