i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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