were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
my sisters under your porch take her home
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
