youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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