just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I am naked and annoyed.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
