Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
