My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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