Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I FOUND THE LEGS
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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