Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
