Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
