Only a mothe r could love this liver
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I understand Curling. That high.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
