just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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