What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Randomize
