i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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