Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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