I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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