So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
