I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
