omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
